The scene: the Sky bar at the Mondrian Hotel, Hollywood, on Monday night where Adidas is hosting a party. Among the guests are several Premiership footballers, Stevie Wonder, Snoop Dogg and Tony Blair. The prime minister sips a cocktail while admiring the view. Snoop Dogg approaches.

Snoop Dogg: Yo, Blair.

Tony Blair: You know, I really wish people would stop saying that, it’s just … oh, hello. Puff Daddy, is it?

SD: Call me Snoop.

TB: Always changing your names, you lot. Can’t keep up.

SD: Fo’ shizzle ma nizzle.

TB: Hmm.

SD: Dat middle east bizzle is out of control.

TB: Well, it not quite as simple as that, you see.

SD: Need a immediate ceasefire, multinational security force in South Lebanon, political framework for a lasting settlement.

TB: Yes, of course. I’m down with that, obviously [attempts a complicated handshake with Snoop. Snoop declines].

SD: You need to get Bush to move on this, him and Condolizzle, got to do the bizzle.

TB: Well I am hoping to persuade them to take a more …

SD: Can’t be the president’s bitch all the time.

TB: Look, I don’t think it’s fair to say I’m his bitch. I find the insinuation, frankly, rather whack.

SD: Time to rethink the whole strategizzle, put together a new agenda on poverty, trade, climate, whatever. All that shit.

TB: Which is, I think you’ll find, more or less what I told the World Affairs Council just …

SD: The World Affairs Council is WAC. Marinate on that, prime mizzle.

TB: Obviously I’ll be marinating on a lot of things between now and … perhaps you’d like to come to Britain in the near future to discuss these ideas further, perhaps speak at the party conference like my close personal friend Bono.

SD: No can do. My boyz got into it at Heathrow duty-free and I been banned.

TB: That was you? You’re Ice T?

SD: I’m a Diet Sprite actually, but if you’re goin to the bar …

[The prime minister leaves to talk to Vidal Sassoon]

Nicked from here.

well, kind of.

Today is my wife’s last day at work. Her maternity leave has begun in earnest, and I can’t believe how quickly all this has happened. I still remember the day we found out she was pregnant for sure, it seems like it was a few weeks ago. A lot has happened since then, but now, we are almost ready for the little one’s arrival.