Right now, I’m feeling a bit ‘deflated’. Yeah, that’s the best word, I’m not ‘depressed’ or ’sad’, but just deflated. Let me explain.

On the 28th of April, right in the middle of our hectic house move, I got a voicemail from a recruiter. Now, I get these almost everyday, but this one was different. The recruiter was from Microsoft. I felt my hands shaking as I called her back, sadly, I had to leave a voicemail.

The job was a Premier Field Engineer role, specialising in Exchange Server. This was my dream job no matter what angle you looked at it from. I’ve had a long term interest in messaging/email, and this would put me right in the frontline of the most popular messaging software in the world. My commute would be cut by half. They had an on site day care, so my little girl would have a place to go. And best of all, this is Microsoft !!

Anyway, I eventually spoke to the recruiter a few days later, had a telephone interview, which went pretty well, and eventually had the ‘assessment day’ scheduled for last Friday (the 16th).

Now, remember that our internet was only connected last Friday (after the interview), so doing my research on the role, the company and studying for the interview was HARD WORK. I had to sneak a few minutes at a time at work. I used my mobile phone at night to look up stuff (painfully slow on a tiny screen). If those were the only troubles I’d faced last week, that might have been ok.

A friend of mine lost his wife the Saturday before. (10th). We were trying to help him out, and I was spearheading the fundraising for the funeral (the funeral cost £5000). So I spent a lot of my nights on the phone, asking people to donate money. On Wednesday, I came down with a cold, a really bad one, I had to take Thursday off sick just to make sure I could make it on Friday. I had fever, a blocked nose, a sore throat and a bad cough.

And on Friday the day of the interview, I swallowed a dose of ‘Day Nurse’ just before going in, and for 3 hours or so, I was healthy enough to interview, once I got home, I collapsed on my bed, relieved it was over and hoping for the best.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making excuses. While my preparation was not ideal, I don’t think I would have done any better had everything gone smoothly.

Anyway, I finally got the call on Wednesday that I wasn’t being offered the job. While I had excelled in some parts of the interview, I could not answer one particular question in the ‘HR’ bit to their satisfaction, and the technical guys felt that they had to probe me to get answers to the ‘technical depth’ that they were looking for.

Now, it’s not because I didn’t get the job that I’m feeling deflated. Oh no. Even before the whole process began, I was aware that this job was ‘a step up’ from what I was doing at the moment, and I was honoured even to be considered for it.

No, the problem is, I’ve been investigating the possibility of changing jobs since we moved house, things have become a little stagnant where I am, and there’s nothing like a one hour commute in a car everyday to make you look for the next step in your career. But after going through the Microsoft ‘experience’ all the stuff I’m looking at looks so…..well, ordinary. Dull. There’s nothing out there that excites me like that role, that makes me feel like I’m on the way up, like my career is going someplace.

So right now, I’m at work, stuck doing a job I don’t feel challenged by, wondering what might have been. And judging by the vacancies I get in my email every morning, I’m going to be here for a while…………

Not even watching John Terry cry on Wednesday night could cheer me up.

I’m sure I’ll feel better in a few weeks, but right now, well, I have to sit down, and look at all the positives, and MOVE ON.

Apparently, the mafia’s ten commandments have been found at the hideout of a captured Mafia boss.

1. No-one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.
2. Never look at the wives of friends.
3. Never be seen with cops.
4. Don’t go to pubs and clubs.
5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty – even if your wife’s about to give birth.
6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.
7. Wives must be treated with respect.
8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.
9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.
10. People who can’t be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn’t hold to moral values.

Mmmmm…..my application form is in the post………..